Finding Strength in Trials...

(03/28/2010; Northern VA) Life is unpredictable. One minute you're watching a basketball game and the next your world is shaking and your heart is in so many pieces you can't feel a thing. This is what we experienced Palm Sunday when we were given some news that put us literally into shock. As we stumbled out to our car with tears pouring down our cheeks we weren't even sure where we were or what direction to point the car. We ended up at some dear friends who put their arms around us and held us as we sobbed out our sorrow. I am so thankful for those who can comfort because they have been there and know what you're feeling. I'm thankful for those who can give wise counsel and prayers. I'm so thankful for a God whose arms are around us always.

A year ago I could not have heard this news. I wasn't ready for it and God knew I couldn't handle it. In the past 5 years my walk with the Lord has changed dramatically. I read a book called "Heaven" by Randy Alcorn that blew my mind. If you haven't read it you need to. That book led to some others that are too many to name but what they did was point me to the realization that I was not experiencing the abundant Christian life that God promises to those who believe. And, it wasn't HIS fault! I was afraid of it. Instead of opening my hands to take it I was closing my fists in fear. Over the years as I gradually opened my hands He was so gentle with me. The wonderful women He brought into my life allowed me to grow under their mentoring. In this past year 3 of us have done a Precepts Bible study together on the book of Job. Then another book by Randy Alcorn "If God is Good" came in the mail. Again, if you haven't read it you need to. But the most healing thing has been God's Word. Everyday He gives me some truth to hold onto for that day. Everyday I read His Word and am a stronger person than I was the day before. Everyday I write down where I'm at in this journey I'm going through and everyday I release this situation to God because only He can change it. Then I get up and LIVE! I open my hands to His abundant life, I laugh and sing and enjoy life and family and friends. And I do that through His strength, not mine.

I think it's interesting that my last blog was about some friends who are going through a time of testing and how God is using it. He has now put Ed and I in a position to live what we believe. God doesn't give us the test that we want, He gives us the test that we need. I might look at what someone else is going through and think "I could handle that" but that's probably not what needs refining in my life.

So again I quote the verse in I Peter 4:12, "Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when His glory is revealed." There is a reason for this and I do rejoice that God has found us worthy to taste in such a small way what He suffered for us on the cross when He gave His life for us so that we have the power not to sin and so we could have eternal life on the new earth.