Welcoming Change

"All change is uncomfortable. Even when it is desired, change can be disturbing, for it disrupts your normal way of doing things. It introduces the unknown, the unexperienced. It can leave you feeling disoriented. It can call into question your strength and confidence. Strong emotions may arise within you, ones you'd rather not face, or ones you don't know how to face. Whatever this change means to you, at one time or another it will create a sense of unease. Or it may bring something even more unpleasant--a pain that won't go away."

A few days after we left Suffolk I found myself spiraling into a hole that I could not crawl out of. I felt lost, disconnected, disoriented, angry, confused, lonely, lethargic and a lot more. The more Ed prodded me the more angry and guilty I felt.

Staying in a little apartment at Wycliffe Headquarters waiting for the RV to be carpeted I came across a book, "Welcoming Change..Discovering Hope in Life's Transitions". The words I read expressed all that was happening to me and why I was feeling the way I was feeling. Even though this "new beginning" was something we had dreamed of, planned for, hoped for, waited for, it also meant something was ending. "The beginning of any transition is not really a beginning--it's an ending." I hadn't thought of that and it took me by surprise these emotions that came upon me and overwhelmed me.

"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind is part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." Anatole France

As I enter this new beginning I'm learning to let go of what is ending. But just as I'm leaving a part of myself behind I'm also taking a part of those I'm leaving with me. Good memories, great conversations, wonderful times of sharing, laughter, spiritual refreshment, crying, holding one another accountable, praying for one another through hard times, studying God's word. Thanks ladies, we'll do it again!